


long gone but familiar

by grassangel



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Captain America: The First Avenger, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Character Study, Coffee, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, On the Run, One Scene Two PoVs, POV Natasha Romanov, POV Steve Rogers, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, hinted Winter Soldier Peggy Carter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 07:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17361326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grassangel/pseuds/grassangel
Summary: There's a photo of a woman in Steve's apartment. She reminds Natasha of someone she can't quite remember.written pre-CATWS





	1. someone long gone

"Who is this?" Natasha asks from the living room, and even from where he's packing a bag two rooms away, he knows her fingers are trailing over the wooden frame of a photo.

Steve doesn't reply until he comes out of his bedroom, shield in its cover slung over his back and sliding his packed sports bag toward Natasha's feet.

"Someone from the war," he says, his voice sounds tight and tired even to his ears, "someone long gone. Why?"  
Natasha doesn't follow him into the small kitchen. Instead she stays in the living room, still looking at the photo of Peggy on the side table.

"I– she seems familiar."

There isn't much food left in the kitchen, but the two blackened bananas and the cold coffee that has miraculously not grown any mould should keep them going for a few more hours.

"She shouldn't," Steve says, frowning as he offers Natasha a cup of the cold coffee and one of the bananas, "She drove off a cliff in the Alps trying to chase the plane that I went down in."

The cold, days old coffee is better than almost all of the coffee Steve has ever had, but Natasha winces slightly at the taste before taking a small bite out of her banana.

"She looks like a trainer I had, another agent in the Red Room," Natasha says after a minute, after Steve has almost finished his banana.

Shrugging in reply, Steve swallows his mouthful.  
"Peggy was... unique, but she was also Auxiliary Corps and an intelligence agent. And from my experience, that doesn't change much between countries or time periods," Steve says flatly, finishing the coffee and throwing his peel in the garbage disposal.

Natasha's still looking at the photo out of the corner of her eye as she replies, "Yes, maybe."  
She's been switching between her coffee and banana, taking measured sips and bites, and finishes shortly after he's rinsed out his cup. Moving past Steve to take care of her refuse, Natasha lays a hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry, this thing with the Winter Soldier is making me nostalgic."

Raising his shoulder and tilting his head towards her, Steve accepts the apology. Pushing himself up from where he's been leaning on the counter, he waits for Natasha to finish cleaning up before heading back to their bags and picking his up.

"Let's move out."

Steve doesn't look behind him as he leaves his apartment for what could be the last time. It takes half a minute for Natasha takes to fall in behind him, but the extra few seconds don't register, his mind already concentrating on a plan to take down the Winter Soldier.


	2. she seems familiar

Despite the year or so of him living in it, there isn't much in Steve's apartment to make it his. Amongst the timber wainscoting, wooden furniture and crisp white drapes, there's only a few framed prints and photos to announce his presence. One catches her eye, a black and white photo in a dark frame. Some detail is lost around her face, but the subject's defined brows and dark lips stand out clearly. She reminds Natasha of someone and finds herself asking Steve out loud who the woman in the photo is.

She doesn't get a reply until he's finished in the bedroom, shield on his back and shuffling a bag toward her.

"Someone from the war," Steve says, tight-lipped and surly in his fatigue, "someone long gone. Why?"  
He doesn't look at the photo as he heads into his small kitchen, leaving Natasha behind. There's something familiar about the woman, as if she should know who she is. If SHIELD weren't compromised and the Winter Soldier weren't a step behind them, she'd have the time to thoroughly search her mental file of allies and enemies to identify who the woman reminds her of.

"I– she seems familiar," Natasha hedges, giving one last glance at the photo before leaving the living room to follow Steve into the kitchenette. She might not have the time or safety required to identify who the woman reminds her of, but she can at least try to remember the context. She stays quiet as Steve rummages through his cupboards for cups to pour the cold coffee left on the counter into.

"She shouldn't," Steve says, as he offers Natasha a cup of cold coffee and a heavily black-speckled banana from the now empty fruit bowl, "She drove off a cliff in the Alps trying to chase the plane that I went down in."  
He's frowning as she accepts the food, but there's sadness around the corners of his eyes while he speaks.

They eat in silence for a minute, Natasha wincing at the bitterness of the coffee when she takes her first sip of it before taking a small bite of the over-ripe banana to offset it. Clint had teased her, the first time they sat down and had coffee together, when she took a bite out of the danish she had gotten rather than use one of the sachets of sugar on the table.

"That's very Russian of you," Clint had said, before she corrected him that it was tea and jam not coffee and pastries that he was thinking of.

That memory of the past, her history, sparks a connection in her head.

Natasha turns the thought over in her head for a minute before telling it to Steve.

"She looks like a trainer I had, another agent in the Red Room," she says slowly, measuring out her words carefully.

Steve shrugs in response and takes the last bite out of his banana, swallowing before he replies.

"Peggy was... unique," Steve says, explaining, "but she was also Auxiliary Corps and an intelligence agent. And from my experience, that doesn't change much between countries or time periods."

There's a flatness to his tone, a coldness in the way he takes another gulp of his coffee and turns his back to her to throw his garbage away that tells Natasha that Peggy's death still hurts him.

She shifts a little to lean up against the counter, catching a glimpse of the living room and the photo through the shelves that separate the two rooms. From this distance Natasha can't make out Peggy's features nearly as well, but there is a steel to her eyes that makes her doubt Steve's words that Peggy was just any intelligence agent.

There is a long period of silence as Natasha stands there, slowly working at her coffee and banana, considering the photo she can see if turns just so.

"Yes, maybe," she concedes as Steve finishes his coffee and turns to rinse it in the sink. She has drank the last of her own cup by the time he is done and as she moves past him, Natasha lays a hand on his arm, looking up at him.

"I'm sorry, this thing with the Winter Soldier is making me nostalgic."

She tries to make it sound wry, like she's remembering the days when the name Black Widow was half threat and half fairytale-like rumour.

Steve accepts the apology, his mouth a straight line as he shrugs a shoulder and nods at her. Standing up from where he's been leaning against the counter, Steve allows Natasha to brush past, waiting patiently for her to finish cleaning her mess before heading back to the living room to their bags.  
Picking his up, he gives the order to move out. Steve doesn't look behind him as he leaves.

Natasha stays a minute to give Steve's apartment a final once over for him for what could be the last time, checking they haven't left any obvious trace. She lingers for a few seconds over the picture on the table, looking into Peggy's dark and unwavering gaze.  
There's something in those eyes that has Natasha straightening her back in response, hand half raising into a salute before she catches herself, instead reaching out to touch the frame lightly.

"I'll keep him safe," she mentally promises the picture, pausing to remember the face of the woman Steve still cares about. It takes only a moment and she's out the door to catch up with him, the door to Steve's apartment locking behind her. He doesn't comment on her short absence when she finally falls in behind him, his head down and already strategizing their next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the bulk of this in 2014. There is the one scene/two PoVs here, plus another short snippet that needs tidying up about Steve waking up and finding that Peggy is dead.  
> I think I had in mind an AU that was on the larger side of things - a series of one-shots maybe - with two Winter Soldiers: Bucky Barnes and Peggy Carter. Both had helped train Natasha and she had half fallen in love with them and Steve would've fallen back in love with them, ending up in a sort of OT4 situation.
> 
> But I should've known that I wouldn't have the dedication or concentration to finish such a project, especially one that was only barely sketched out like this. 
> 
> Despite that, I am pleased with this - the little differences between the two PoVs and what they tell you about Steve and Natasha, the things they won't admit to themselves.


End file.
